Ella Mai - Boo'd Up
MS and Your Feelings: Book club blog chapter 8
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I know, I know! Here it is the 12th of October and Trevis is finally writing the book club blog that was supposed to post the last day of September.
Truth be known, it wasn't until I was writing the “How's your MS” blog that I realized that the calendar had moved to October. Couple that with some other technical issues and here we are, Friday of week two rather than Friday of week four. My apologies to all of our readers and to Allison Shadday, our author.
This month's chapter deals with grief and grieving.
We've had conversations in these pages about grieving before. It's something that we with multiple sclerosis must learn to process over and over in the course of our disease. Just when we think we've gotten “over” something, something else is taken from us.
We grieve a lot with MS. We should be good at it by now…but many of us aren't.
I found this chapter a good one because it not only speaks of grief in the abstract, but discusses things we may lose or have already lost. It's one thing to try to learn about grief, but it's wholly another to think about some of the things we may be grieving about and didn't even realize.
One of the things we should all glean from this reading is that those famous five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) is that they are unpredictable, don't fall in order and sometimes may come from seemingly nowhere.
I also found the concept of moving on an important one. We try to understand our grief for several reasons. One, simply so we can recognize when we are grieving. Secondly, so we don't feel so alone in our grief. And most importantly, so that we can try to use the process to move to the next place and know that there is a “next place.”
If we get stuck grieving, we may not be able to understand the grief process, we may not even know that we are grieving and thus cannot be expected to move past or through that place.
I found this chapter, as I have found with other chapters in this book, something that I will find myself going back to in the future. I may not be grieving right now, but it's nice to know that I have a tool in the 'ol toolbox to utilize when the time comes again…and it will.
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
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